In Respond to a Silk Letter Sent to Me

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Well, nothing came up to my mind now. And I know, somebody will laugh at me because of this entry, but I'll write anyway, in respond to something that so sweet, I feel like licking it up every chances that I have.

Anyway, hope you will enjoy your trip with your Goldilocks friend of yours, and be a good girl okay :p. And take pictures please, tell me stories that make you happy, or even sad, and you know u can always have my shoulders to cry on :).

And thanks for your tips, which come in handy especially the view of skirts part :p.

Btw & fyi, Shenzhen is not that cold. During this time the temperature will be around 16C, which is not even close to enough to create snow for me :p.

Can't hardly wait to see you when I come back within 2 weeks time.

(I was thinking to write u a poem, but my english not as good as yours, and I can't even think of anything at this 02:30 am time. Will write later :))

Confession of An Older Brother

The melancholy series will have to wait.

It was almost a year ago when my little brother told us he is getting married. And I felt, a little bit sad but mostly happy and proud of him. My little brother is getting married!

And that was a year ago. Last weekend we went to Jerantut, Pahang for the final ceremony. It went fast. With only one lafaz it is confirmed that my brother now belong to somebody else. When I hugged him after that, I couldn't help myself from crying. I confess, I cried like a sissy girl.

Me and my brother, we shared a lot of things. We shared the same bedroom, we smoke the same cigarettes, we support the same football club, we have the same craze on hongkie comics. He bought a new sandals and I thought it was cool and then I bought the same sandals with different colors. When my bike broke down in the middle of nowhere, he is the first person will be in my mind, and the same goes to him. His friends are my friends. And although there were 2 years gap between us, most people will mistakenly took us as a twin. We were that close.

It was 6 pm, and as usual I was lying on the couch watching tv, supposedly during this time he will be home from work. And I waited, before then I realized he will not be coming home again, ever. And I walked to my room, it is a little bit quieter without him around. I guess, I just miss my brother.

I felt just like I lost him, but I know, I lost him for a better cause. And I wishing nothing other than their happiness, forever. Be happy my brother, my best friend, for now you are the king of the world.

Melancholy

Ana shouted to my face.

"Why Asrol, why? Why did you do this to me? After everything bad I've done, why you still help me?"

I'm confused. Why the hell she shouting at my face for? I'm the one who supposed to be pissed, not her. Besides, can't she tell?

I looked straight at her face, deep inside her eyes. I tried to find the strength to tell her the truth. The truth why I was always by her side. The truth why I picked calls from her late at night listening to her babbling about Eric. The truth about how I drove 35 kilometers at 2 o'clock in the morning to her house just to accompany her because she got a fight with that guy. The truth.. about everything.

I took a deep breath.

"You know why."

Her face changed at the sudden. I knew she knew. And she knew it all this while, but heart kept telling her to deny it.

"You love me?"

There was a silence at a moment, and then, slowly, I nodded.

"And you'll do anything just to make me happy?"

"Yeah." It was short, but I felt like being stripped off my clothes, and everybody in the whole world could see my butt ugly naked.

There you go. The worst confession I ever had. And suddenly I couldn't stand the awkwardness of the situation, it might be better if I just leave.

"Good bye Ana. It's been a pleasure knowing you all this while. I hope, one day you will meet the man of your dream, who will make you happy, just like the story you've been telling us."

And I turned around. I couldn't afford to let her seeing me crying. And with all the might and strength that I still have, I walked away, step by step. She just stood still there, not knowing what to do.

I walked away slowly, hoping that some miracle might happen although I gave up on it long time ago. And for a moment, I was right, before suddenly she shouted,

"Wait!"

I stopped.

Loneliness Is About The Scariest Thing There Is

I received a phone call from a friend of mine just now. It was 3.00 am in the morning. She sounded natural initially before she busted into tears.

And I forced her to tell me what's the matter. She insisted at first, and then she told me the whole thing.

She felt lonely.

She cried because she thought it sounds silly.

As I thought, she doesn't sounds silly at all. I completely understand her. I completely understand, at times people need somebody by their side, just to be by their side, to love, and to be loved. Nobody can beat loneliness, at least that's what I think. It's the reason for Naruto to be so protective over his companions, and it's drive Sasuke to be so vengeful against his own brother.

And it's also one of the reason I stopped watching movies alone, and it has been quite sometime now. No more movies without accompanies around.

As John Milton said,"Loneliness is about the scariest thing there is."

True. True.

I am Dr. No Heart

I don't know why, but there were so many people, most of them were my friends, ermm.. i mean all of them were my friends, erm i mean they are my friends, tend to seek advice about their love life from me. I am just like, the unofficial Dr. Heart, who suck at his own love life. Yes my friend, I am the living Hitch, if you know what I mean, the different is that I don't have my own business card. And I say yes to one night stand!

And the most amazing thing about my service is, almost all of them most likely will end up breaking up with their partner. Yes my friend, I am the unofficial couple breaker, the arch nemesis of cupid. If you tired of your partner but don't know how to end it, I am the man.

If you are interested of my service, You can just leave your contact details in the comment. No charge, or perhaps I will charge later. Or maybe I will get involve with you and no charge.

Owhh man. Maybe I should be known as Dr. Hate or something. Or Dr. No Heart.

When you say nothing at all

Do you have any songs that you think, will make your feeling goes high, reminds you of your past, or that you think suits you in any situation you have encountered?

I do.

It is "When you say nothing at all" by Ronan Keating. I know how gayish it sounds like, but I couldn't help it whenever I heard this songs played over the radio. No I didn't like this song because of Ronan, I'm not a gay you know. But why did I heard somebody is laughing?

I think I like this song because of the movie, Notting Hill. Owhh God I just love this movie, especially Hugh Grant. I mean I love his acting, not loving him as loving.. you know. Didn't I told you before I'm not a gay?

Owhh man. I better stop here before I sound more like a hopeless romantic block.

A Season of Soul Persuasion

I just ended up my relationship with a girl 2 weeks ago. She has done nothing wrong. It's just me. I just couldn't go on with it anymore. I felt so ashamed and guilty, and I could trade anything for the world if I can repent on what I've done. It haunted me for weeks, and it still.

Somehow, she kinda pissed of because I've ended it for no reason. She told me that I don't actually know what I want.

Maybe she's right. I don't know what I want. And she told me, I must make this thing clear before I can proceed with a relationship with a girl.

So I guess, this soul persuasion could be a season long, and I bet you it gonna be one hell of a season.